Putting up with Put-downs: Dealing with Trolls, haters and other miscreants while FIRE blogging

While recently reading through some of the FIRE blogs I regularly go through, I came across and article by ThinkSaveRetire, in which he was discussing the Facebook blowback he was getting after an interview for CNBC on retiring early. Apparently there are a lot of people out there that don’t like it when someone gets of the treadmill – and demonstrates that they could do it to, if they chose to.

The Stoic philosophers (Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, etc.) actually had a few things to say about the “haters” in their day and how to deal with them.  I guess the Roman empire had their share of trolls.

Remember that the ancient Stoics were very concerned about maintaining a sense of tranquility in their lives, and the anger that insults could bring up was unwanted. They wrote extensively about dealing with slights and insults, in order to maintain their “frame.” Some of their ideas:

  1. Pause when insulted, and see if there if the insult is true. If it is, there is little reason to be upset. As Seneca said “Why is it an insult to be told what is self-evident.”
  2. Pause to consider how well-informed the insulter is. He may be saying something bad about us because he sincerely believes what he is saying. Rather than get angry with the person, talk calmly with them to set them straight.
  3. Consider the source of the insult. If it is someone who you respect, then the critical marks shouldn’t upset you – it should make you reevaluate you ideas. If it is someone you don’t respect, then you should feel glad at the insult because “if they think I am wrong, then I must be doing something right.”

In terms of response to insults, rather than insulting back, the Stoics ideas included:

  • Use of humor to deflect an insult, to show that we don’t take the insulter or the insults seriously
  • Don’t respond at all – again to show you we don’t have the time to waste on them

In the end, whenever you “put yourself out there” you are going to get a certain percentage of people who enjoy trying to “get a rise out of you.” Don’t waste your time with them – just keep on your journey to FIRE. After all, living well is the best revenge.

Mr. 39 Months

 

Note: A lot of these ideas I found in the book A Guide to the Good Life (Stoic Joy) by William Irvine.

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